Why do we think we look ugly
Ugly is a bit strong. It’s actually the title of the Ted Talk at the bottom of this page. We sure do have hang-ups about the way we look though. I believe self-esteem is the root cause of many of the world’s problems. Drugs, alcoholism, violence, suicide are just a few of those problems. But let me hack it down to something I’m more of an expert in.
As an Ottawa Headshot Photographer, my job is to make you look good in front of a camera. I can honestly say that I have not photographed a single ‘ugly’ person yet. Conversely just about every person, man or woman, are truly not comfortable in front of the camera. In fact, of the 231 people I photographed in 2018, only two, both men, were loud and proud in front of the camera.
Why is that? Without fail every day I hear someone say I hate my chin. I don’t like me in photographs. I don’t like my eyes, or the bags under my eyes. They say they don’t like their neck, or their “armpit fat”. Armpit fat? That doesn’t even show in a headshot and what exactly is it? And why is a beautiful young lady, a 20 something, fearing that?
I hear self-deprecating stories all the time. In fact, I expect them. Lucky for me I have a hack for it and 9.99 times out of ten people seem to love their headshots when we’re done. People tend to like themselves better when they start to see what I see through my camera. Frankly, it’s one of the reasons I love what I do.
I came across this TED Talk recently and it is worth watching especially if you have teenage children. I have kids. I don’t like what I’m seeing here.
This is an example of what I am talking about.
I scheduled a forty something woman recently. We had left it that she was going to try to get a hair appointment for this week before our confirming our shoot. That is great. The better you feel about yourself the more you’ll shine in front of the camera. I recommend the hair appointment if it makes you feel better.
Here is the text I got from her today.
“Hi Todd! This is XXXXXXX – we spoke yesterday re a “multiple look headshot” shoot for this Saturday. Sorry for the delay in confirming but I was able to get a hair appt for that morning so we’re good to go! If you need to email me anything (do you need a deposit?), I can be reached at (email address here). I’d love to say I’m looking forward to it but I’ve been putting this off for four years for a reason… hahaha
Did you catch that last line? I haven’t met this woman but I’ve spoken to her on the phone and now via text. I can tell you she sounds like a strong woman. I know she’s a professional. I’m looking forward to meeting her actually. I’m also willing to bet she’s likely attractive.
So what is this self-deprecating thing we do? Is it trying to be humble? Is it a defensive thing? I think we all have to go easier on ourselves. We’re consumed by what others think we look like. The more we start to like ourselves the better our world will be. Meanwhile, It will be my goal to make sure this lady goes away feeling better about herself.
I use a couple of techniques that make those thoughts go away. I could go into detail on that but that is not the point of this story. Let me just say this: If you’re not feeling confident when booking your session, you should push through it. I promise that you’ll feel better at the end. There is no reason we should feel we’re ugly. Easy for me to say right? Watch this short TED Talk about why thinking you’re ugly is truly bad for you. Please. For your kids.
